Author Archives: wanderingthecdt

Drastic Tactics

Our 15-year-old woman-child, Her Royal Highness, interrupts her beauty routine only to play hockey. Unless you count the aboriginal eyeliner visible beneath her face mask as a beauty routine. I personally find it frightening, but then again, I doll up with Chapstick. Hockey is why, fat after Thanksgiving, I woke up in a hotel room […]
Read More »

GGW: the British Columbian Edition

I belong to a club of badly behaved women — the GGW. There are about 12 of us and counting and sometimes we make big group road trips and sometimes we form splinter groups of mini-GGWs. Currently, a mini-GGW with members FishHead and Blondie has invaded Canada. Even though I am somewhat frightened by the […]
Read More »

Trash Day Dawneth

For the duration of our relationship (not including grade school), the Iron Chef’s employment has required him to travel or otherwise be away from home for weeks at a time. As a result, I’m no MacGyver, but I’m reasonably handy. There are only a few household tasks that I routinely suck at, and they are, […]
Read More »

Hell’s Bells

Like Republican vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan, my 13-year-old son — the Odd Number — is an AC/DC fan. While his older sister, Her Royal Highness, typically dominates the car stereo with techno-teeny-pop, occasionally Odd gets to run the dials. With a few notable exceptions, I try to stay neutral and allow the kids the appearance […]
Read More »

Virtual Labor Day

Our family Labor Day tradition is to go to the highly urbanized mecca of Missoula, watch a little minor league baseball, and then go to the massive and sprawling Farmers Market on Saturday. By Saturday afternoon, we return to Podunk with some kind of produce that requires us to open a home canning sweat shop […]
Read More »

The Back to School Edition

Today was Back to School day in Podunk. I’m a big fan of BTS, especially the inaugural day, for obvious reasons. 1. On the first day, there are no shower wars. For one day and one day only, people in our household recognize that our water heater has a finite capacity and this is respected. […]
Read More »

Oops, I Bought Urban Shoes

Speaking of sensible shoes, I treated myself to a new pair of sneaks on one of my traumatic Back to School shopping trips. Trust me, I deserved them. I strolled around in my new Reeboks before I bought them, just like you’re supposed to. There’s definitely nothing like a new pair of shoes to put […]
Read More »

Back to School Shopping

I can’t be certain if my mom actually put a curse on me, or if there is just a curse inherent in parenthood, but something is coming back to haunt me, and I’m pretty sure my mom said it would. As a kid, I was a tomboy. Back to school shopping was painful because my […]
Read More »

Police Blotter

From the August 9, 2012 Salmon Recorder-Herald – Cows were out and they were headed towards the park. – A fire was reported up Sheep Creek on the right hand side of the road. Caller asked for Forest Service number and dispatch gave them fire dispatch number 756-5157. Later caller phoned back and apologized. He […]
Read More »

Straight Hair Talk Part II the Stunning Conclusion

Continued from Straight Hair Talk Part I I got out of the Hair Beast’s creepy basement salon as fast as I could and headed over to see my road and soul sister Lucy. She saw my hair and gasped. I promised her that as bad as it was, it could have been worse. Besides, I […]
Read More »