Tag Archives: hockey

Sports Injuries

Last weekend, the Podunks split up — I took Her Royal Highness to a hockey tournament in Bozeman, and the Iron Chef took Odd Number to a hockey tournament in Sun Valley. It sounds glamorous, I know. Aside from the mega freeze in Bozeman that turned my hockey touring car’s battery into a useless rectangle, […]
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Warming Up at the Ice Rink

Yeah I know — hockey doesn’t conjure visions of warmth. But this is seriously messed up. My loyal and faithless readers (hey mom and dad!) will think I am making this up, but it finally warmed up to single digits below zero Fahrenheit here in Bozeman, Montana. As Her Royal Highness and I drove to […]
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Road Tripping without Wings

Hockey has made my family crazy, and now it is taking us to San Jose, California, which is Spanish for “near San Francisco.” Her Royal Highness’ Big Sky Wildcats team re-paid me for driving to Gillette, Wyoming by qualifying for the national tourney, extending what is the world’s longest sports season. Without a doubt, this […]
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Game On — Cold Muthas v Kelts

The Salmon Hockey Association has historically had 2 adult teams — the Tuesday/Thursday night Good Guys, or more experienced, competitive players, and the Wednesday night Wheelchair League, or more novice players. The Kelts, or spawned out salmon, bubbled up from the ooze of the Wheelchair league. When they challenged the Cold Muthas to a good-natured […]
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Cold Muthas Establish New Hockey Dynasty in First Season

I know I’ve been remiss in reporting the Cold Muthas U79 Hockey League stats, and I’ve left many of you on the edge of your seats. Rest assured, the Muthas have been kicking ass and taking names — and then forgetting where we put the names. Unlike many amateur adult teams, the Muthas subjected ourselves […]
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Oh Canada — You Are On To Something

I know I’ve had sort of a checkered past where Canada is concerned, but in the past 6 months, I’ve racked up two consecutive trips to The Attic without mishap. I’ve always thought Canadians could improve their national self-image if they would just do something first-rate. And on my most recent trip to British Columbia, […]
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Cold Muthas — the Soundtrack

Now that my 79 and Under Ladies Hockey Team has made some serious development progress — some of us can snap our own chin straps on our helmets, I can nearly stop on my right side (stay away from lefty if you value your safety), and we’ve decided by consensus to not waste any time […]
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Cold Muthas Heat Up the Ice

My new women’s hockey team is progressing at a much faster pace than I had anticipated after our 1st practice, which mainly consisted of sorting our gear and convincing our middle school age coaches that we were serious enough to warrant them getting up before noon to help us. By practice 2, word had spread […]
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Cold Muthas — Day 1

I belong to a hockey family, which is code for my house and car smell funny. Last year marked the beginning of a new era in Podunk hockey — the formation of a hockey league designed for the women who had previously been relegated to washing hockey underthings and working the concession stand. We are […]
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Drastic Tactics

Our 15-year-old woman-child, Her Royal Highness, interrupts her beauty routine only to play hockey. Unless you count the aboriginal eyeliner visible beneath her face mask as a beauty routine. I personally find it frightening, but then again, I doll up with Chapstick. Hockey is why, fat after Thanksgiving, I woke up in a hotel room […]
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