Bonfire of the Non-Vanities
One of my favorite things about living in Salmon is the fashion scene. Take, for instance, the New Year’s Eve nightclub fashion dilemmas faced by my urban friends.
Fortunately, Esquire can offer suggestions for classic staples such as these:
Hot little numbers for the ladies include:
But Iron Chef and I had made the A-List for Podunk’s New Year’s Eve nightclub scene, and we were uniquely qualified to dress for success.
Lucky for all of us in Podunk, Carharts have become trendy (yes, still Trolling for Sponsors). My man so happens to have the tuxedo with tails and tophat version — the fully insulated, fully suspendered overalls kind of Carharts.
My selection was more demure and sophisticated. I started with a sleek base layer (REI midweight, of course), snow pants from the 90s, and a wine-colored (super obvious), puffy down jacket from the Eddie Bauer outlet clearance rack (also quite possibly from the 90s but a later vintage to be sure). I accessorized with the scarf and mittens from my snowman building box, debated over Uggs or Sorels (Uggs), topped the ensemble off with a wool beanie and set out for the festivities.
We assembled in a dark pasture with our similarly clad fellow revelers, gathering around the lamb cooking over a fire.
The nightclub was magical, with the added bonus of steady snowfall fueling our talk of skiing in the morning. Let it snow, we all agreed.
Then, a bonfire that rivaled Salmon’s tallest skyscraper (3 stories) was lit, and I cannot fathom that Rockefeller Plaza was any more beautiful. Plus, the parking was free.
The fashion trend talk turned to concern over flammability and spark-proof worthiness as the bonfire’s flames stretched towards the heavens.
This is my kind of night life and that was my kind of New Year’s Eve.
Happy 2020 and a special thanks to @45NorthFarm for an enchanted, fully fashionable evening.
Podunk Meets Paradise 
Our kind of night life also. Miss all of our friends. We’ll be back!
I sure hope so!! Happy New Year, David!
Always write, please, never stop!
Thank you for the encouragement, Ella. And thanks to SlideRock Ranch for the delicious ram lamb. Happy New Year!
Not only free parking, but I bet nobody had to wear adult diapers.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/12/dont-go-out-new-years-eve/578836/
I had no idea that was a thing!! Thank you for alerting me to this urban peril! Happy New Year!
I’m glad your writing again but I was hoping you might note and elaborate on eating incestuous lamb.