I Got 99 Problems…

I love to think about pre-teen problems…

Daddy Drinks


So I’m wrestling two ridiculous problems right now. I have my share of normal problems like deadlines and a conspicuous lack of funds in my bank account and a piss-poor mile PR and absolutely nothing to cook for dinner that my kids will eat, but the two problems that are currently demanding a lot of time and energy on my part are absolutely, utterly ridiculous.

Problem Number 1: There are zombies in the toilet.

At least, that’s what my daughter thinks. So she’s too scared to go to the bathroom alone. Instead, she forces me, or her mom or her brother, to come into the bathroom and watch her. “Because if you don’t come with me, the zombies will crawl out of the toilet and bite me.”

Obviously, this problem is a holdover from Halloween.

I’ve tried using adult logic (“but, zombies aren’t real”) and I’ve tried using kid logic…

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6 thoughts on “I Got 99 Problems…

  1. Ah Ha….now maybe I know something about what an “elf on the shelf” is. I am living overseas and mostly have teenagers. However, a friend who is moving back to Portland in 2 weeks says she recently had to explain to her little kids that the elf on the shelf hopped into the moving crates “so he wouldn’t get left behind in Indonesia”….I thought at the time that she was nutters.

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