Coal in My Stocking
It may come as no surprise to loyal, or even accidental, Podunk readers that I have received coal in my stocking on more than one occasion. Carrying on about Osama bin Santa most likely did not help my case. So all in all, I consider it an upgrade that I’m now receiving gifts like this:
Raging Bitch by Flying Dog Brewery
The good news is, there is a literary explanation:
Ralph Steadman, it turns out, is Flying Dog’s illustrator and a former comrade of Hunter S Thompson.
Insulting, without a doubt. Better than coal, without question.
Podunk Meets Paradise 
Great beer for a great lady
For this you might even get the carrier panel art!
I also have good source of nice anthracite just in case, remember coal is the same stuff as diamonds!