Report from the Betty Ford Resort
Thanks to those gentle readers who expressed concern about my last post. Yes, Podunk’s instincts were spot on and my sidekick Lucy and I had accidentally enrolled in professional development at a remote summer camp-like setting on an island where only herbal tea was served.
Oh, they tried to mask this oversight with really delicious and organic food, but Lucy is quite a little carnivore, so this only increased our collective anxiety level.
We attempted to calm ourselves with daily yoga classes, being mindful to keep a significant distance between us because even though we appear to be grown ladies, yoga gives us the incurable giggles which in butterfly pose leads to serious problems.
I get your point, Betty. When you eat organic vegetables and drink herbal tea all day while on a beautiful Canadian island with no teenagers, you feel like a million bucks. And yes, I did feel the leatherback tortoise shell slough off my liver on Day 3.
But then Lucy and I did a little moonlight swim in the ocean because we heard about this crazy glow in the dark bioluminescent plankton, and sure enough it was true and pretty trippy, even on herbal tea. But then Lucy hid my Tahitian wrap and I had to march around the summer camp in my birthday suit. These antics, Betty, are much better executed with an adult beverage.