Any of Podunk’s shortcomings can be overlooked for its drop dead beautiful and panoramic views and endless outdoor recreation opportunities. If Yvon Chouinard hadn’t visited South America first, Patagonia would most likely have been named Podunk. You’d be referring to your favorite nanopuff as podunkgucci, and so on.

Kids here are out-of-this-world lucky. My sidekick Lucy’s big strapping teenager Forrest packs his kayak around like a skateboard in case the Salmon River gets unexpectedly sick, and Her Royal Highness Highness just had a final in rock climbing. Meanwhile, Odd Number has become obsessed with a centuries old ball-and-stick game. Don’t get me wrong, I know Kendama is way better than Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto. Its side effects include a fairly harmless click-clack noise and almost certainly improves hand-eye coordination.

The part that makes me nervous about Kendama is Odd’s insistence that people go “pro” in this activity. Considering the amount of time he spends practicing moves inexplicably called “bird” and “candle”, I can tell he would like to be one of these professionals.

This is thoughtless. What would Iron Chef and I tell our friends about this development? Yes, our only son has gone to the city (because certainly rural America does not go pro in Kendama) to accept a job playing the Japanese equivalent of yo-yo?

Still, Odd makes his preparations, most of which include purchasing new Kendamas that look remarkably similar to the ones he already has.

This is a model known as Focus, retailing for about $21.

Then again, maybe Odd will be the first person in the family to secure a sponsor. And yes, you make a good point… at least he’s not a Broney.

This model is known as Focus Atack Complete. The difference? This retails for about $40. Yes, it’s a ball attached to a stick by string.