Although I admitted to liking Iron Chef’s style of creating a road trip playlist with the only intention of pleasing his own damned self, I enjoy designing trippin’ music that speaks to the passengers where they are at that moment in time. In this case, that would be within the confines of our trusty Honda Pilot for a 4-state punch card of fun to the Oregon Coast.

Here’s what I was thinking…

1. Cadillac (Keller Williams featuring Bob Weir) On Cadillac, you can cruise along with Buddha, Allah, Jesus and Hare Krishna. When the kids are arguing over seat positions, the line, “Jesus be riding bitch because he’s good like that,”  focuses everyone on what’s really important.
2. Shot Reverse Shot (Jack Johnson) Jack is a mellow dude, and at least at the beginning of a trip, we need to exude mellowness. Plus, it’s kind of a hockey song. At least I think so.
3. Little Games (The Colourist) By now, we’re out of the driveway and the little, nonsensical games have started. Get off my pillow. No, get off my pillow.
4. Better Than Love  (The Hurts’ Freemasons Pegasus Mix) So this is the easiest 2014 way to introduce the Norwegian electro 1-hit but what a great hit it was (what was it?) band A-ha into your children’s tunes diet. Besides, if it’s the Freemasons Pegasus Radio Edit mix, I’m going for it, every time.
5. Titanium (David Guetta featuring Sia) As we near the county line, I’m playing this to pump up Odd, who has by now had the crap beaten out of him by Her Royal Highness. And the weird techno beat covers up the whimpering if you turn it up loud enough.
6. Bulletproof  (La Roux) In that last song, Sia slurred the word bulletproof and that made me think of this.
7. The Monster (Eminem featuring Rihanna) Maybe this will be the ultra marathon road trip when one of us learns to rap. 
   

   Rihanna featuring Eminem

8. Camping, Family Road Trip (Mark Gross) This is a little intermission from comedian Mark Gross, who reminds us that traveling with family is supposed to be painful. And that other people swear too.
9. Flaws (Bastille) The Podunk family has just reached the interstate, a somewhat exhilarating experience for those of us who perpetually are on the lookout for large mammals crosswalking on our curvy roads. Belting out the words to this anthem just feels right…”You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve, And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground, Dig them up; let’s finish what we’ve started.”
10. Who Will Save Your Soul (Jewel) Nothing is more fun than first singing along with Jewel on this tune, and then maintaining that howly, consonant-sliding pattern of speech for at least 100 more miles.
11. Hard Sun (Eddie Vedder) After the last 100 miles of howling like Jewel, I play this for Iron Chef, so he remembers not to leave me at the Eastern Washington rest area.
12. Devotion (Hurts featuring Kylie Minogue) Not only did the Hurts on accident bring back A-ha, but now Kylie Minogue AND the accordion? I just missed my turn.
13. Stereo Love (Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina) They had me at accordion.
14. You Were Meant For Me (Jewel featuring Pistol Annies) Wait a minute! It’s not 6 a.m. even in this new time zone. Play this first.   
15. Round and Round (Bob Schneider) There has never been a truly great playlist without Bob. The opera singer is a test to see how cool you are. Oh, you fail, Royal Highness.
    

    Bob. The End.

16. Ride Wit Me (Nelly featuring City Spud) I think it’s important for rural white people to drive in to urban areas like Portland with the windows down and Nelly playing. Hey, must be the money!
17. Cruise (Florida Georgia Line featuring Nelly) See, these guys think that, too.  What up, Nelly?
18. Ride (Lana Del Rey) It really doesn’t matter how much we love each other, Lana’s right, we’ve been traveling too long. As she goes all Kate Bush on us, we run screaming from the Pilot.